Interviews

*NEW* Interview for Dickie Virgin. Click here to read.
Interview for Couples Corner. Click here to read.
Interview for OWK. Click here to read.
Interview for Punk Globe. Click here to read.

Long-Lost Interview From Nugget Magazine
Year: 2005

Marlayna: I love your name! Please tell us about it!
Mistress Xena:  Hello Marlayna!  Beginning a Dominatrix, I had two names to choose from (these two names I did like, as a stage-name).  I picked out the two names, off the top of My head.  It was between the names ‘TEMPEST’ or ‘XENA’. And I chose XENA (and NO, I’m NOT the Warrior Princess.  I am no innocent Princess, whatsoever).   

 Marlayna: Where are you born and raised?
Mistress Xena: I was born and raised in Chicago, Illinois. I grew up in this rough neighborhood until I was 19 years old.  Moving out of My parents’ home was the best thing I’ve ever made. It’s much better than having to deal with hearing gun-shootings or watching constant fights amongst rival gang-members.

Marlayna: When did you first notice that you had a mean or sadistic streak in your personality?
Mistress Xena: As a child, I appeared to be a friendly girl (only to My friends and Family Members).  My behavior differed in My household, though.  I have a younger Sister, whom I would pick fights with (as of this day, I do feel bad for My actions towards her).  

Marlayna: At what age did you start having sexual fantasies and playing with yourself?
Mistress Xena:  I’ve began having sexual fantasies when I was about 12 years old.  At that young age (even younger than that, more like 9 years old), My parents had the SPICE channel (Porn, Of Course).  When My parents would go to sleep, I would sneak up to watch this channel.  One night, My Father caught Me watching porn and had to remove the channel off of our cable package, which disappointed Me.  I enjoyed porn immensely.  At age 12, I began having sexual fantasies, constantly. 

Marlayna: When you were a little girl, were you preconscious and did you Dominate and boss your siblings or friends?
Mistress Xena:  Ahh, this is where My little Sister comes in, once again. She was My #1 victim (to boss around and to tease).  I got punished constantly from My parents.  Of course, what else are they going to do to Me.  Aside from My Sister, I was very Bossy to My Cousin and towards most of the boys on the block.  My Cousin is older than Myself, and when we were kids, she would always follow My orders.  If I wanted her to sneak candy for Me, she would do it.  If I wanted her to give Me one of her toys, she would do it.  I knew I had the power over her.  It was always My way, or the high way.  She never refused, the answer was always ‘yes’.   

Marlayna: In High School, were you a conformist or a bad girl? 
Mistress Xena: Actually, No (not until My Senior Year in High School).  All throughout High School, I was an Outsider, avoided ‘cliques’, concentrating on passing all My courses.  Outside of School, My  Friends at My High School had no clue that I began experimenting with BDSM and reading books on the Lifestyle, starting at age 15.  At age 15, I wasn’t bad.  I was just a naughty girl.  I couldn’t help Myself and knew that if I were to tell anyone My feelings, rumors would spread throughout school.  I was a secretive and a very curious teenager, also quite experimental.  In My Senior Year in High School, I was a bad girl.  Cutting classes to go out with My boyfriend was the norm. Browsing BDSM / Pornographic websites in the computer lab was also common.  Obviously, I had to watch out for the teachers & other students.  By surprise, I was never caught browsing the websites.

Marlayna: Did you date boys, girls or both?
Mistress Xena:   During My High School days, I dated a very few boys, which didn’t have the slightest clue that I had fantasized about tying them up and spanking them. I also fantasized about dating girls, but never got the chance to do so in My H/S years.

Marlayna: A few hot horny words about your first memorable sexual experience and was it kinky?
Mistress Xena:  At age 16, I began dating a Hispanic male and we had a ‘vanilla’ relationship (which I find quite dull, now).  At age 17 is when I wanted to tie him up, and he agreed.  I tied him down to the bed and blindfolded him with one of My socks.  He had no idea of what was coming next, since he was bound tightly to the bed.  And the rest, well, let’s just say I had My way with him.

Marlayna: I am sure you played around a little or a LOT in High School.  A torrid tale or story please, about a hot date or an overnight pillow (dildo?) Party with the girls!
Mistress Xena:  At the age of 18 when I was a Senior in High School, I had met a Married Couple in a nightclub.  That couple happened to be in the BDSM scene, and openly admitted it.  That same couple had introduced Me to the wonderful BDSM Chicago scene and noticed that I was serious about learning MORE on BDSM and Female Domination.  I’ve expressed Myself openly to the couple about My feelings on those topics.  A month after, the couple had taken Me to a dungeon. Several couples would attend this dungeon, played with one another all night long.  Electrical Play, Nipple Torture, CBT, Bondage, Corporal Punishment, etc.  I was intrigued, amazed and became excited when watching the various couples.  The couple had noticed how excited I became. So on a frequent basis, I wanted to attend this particular dungeon party. Luckily, it took place once a week, and for Me, I instantly knew, “This is where I belong”.  

Marlayna: Who or how were you introduced you to the kinky-verlinky world of bondage, Fetish, Female Domination and the S & M / B & D scene?
Mistress Xena:  Fetish:  My Fetish for Boots began at the age of 5.  I remember receiving some Winter Boots for Christmas, from My parents.  After that, I always wore the Winter Boots, and was extremely attached to the Boots.  My Mother realized My love of Boots, so for My 6th Birthday, she bought Me a pair of Childrens’ Cowboy Boots.  I always had to wear My boots, wherever I went.  I was obsessed with Boots.  So each Christmas, My Mother would get Me a pair of boots. Later on in life, I received My first pair of vinyl knee-high boots when I was 17, for My Birthday (from My boyfriend at the time).  And for Christmas, he bought Me a pair of Shiny Black Thigh High Boots.  I had to hide the boots from My Parents. And to this day, wearing Fetish Boots is pure heaven.

My other big Fetish is Latex / Rubber.  There was nothing better than doing dishes, while wearing a pair of Yellow Latex Gloves.  As a child, I enjoyed the feel and the smell of the Latex Gloves (and of course, how shiny the gloves looked while being wet).  A Person whom I’d admire: Cat Woman.  You can only guess why.  How Powerful she looked while wearing her shiny Rubber Catsuit.  I also admired the Women in Skin Two Magazine.  I would pick up issues from Tower Records once in a while as a Teenager. Another thing I had to hide at My parents’ home. That same year, My boyfriend at the time (same guy) bought Me a Latex Top and a Latex Mini Skirt. Boy, did I loved being spoiled by him. So, he bought the items  from a local sex shop.The quality was very Cheap, but  I didn’t care.  It was Latex, and FINALLY, I had My own latex outfit to wear.  How tight and shiny the latex was; it was an ultimate turn-on.           

Marlayna: When you start a session, is their a certain procedure and ritual you go through?
Mistress Xena: If a slave is a novice, I’ll welcome the slave into My lair & speak with the slave for 5-10 minutes. Basically, to go over his/her interests and limits in a session.  
 
Marlayna: Some of the Activities You Engage In Are….
Mistress Xena: 
Some of My specialties involve Corporal Punishment, Bondage and Humiliation.  I DO engage in several other activities and have different interests in a session.  Nipple Torture, CBT, Sensory Deprivation, Mind-Fucking,Forced Feminization, Many types of Role-Play scenarios and so much more.

Marlayna: Please tell us about one of your most sexciting eperiences you have had at an event like Domcon L.A.
Mistress Xena:  This year, I’ve attended Both Domcon L.A. and Domcon Atlanta.  Domcon L.A. was delightful and wickedly fun.  My friend and I had traveled to L.A. together.  She and I had met several people, shopped at the vendors and enjoyed networking with other Dommes.  Personally, I’ve had many exciting experiences at Domcon L.A.  One exciting experience was during a photo shoot, when I wore My red rubber catsuit in the swimming pool, while a few children were inside the pool also.  It was hilarious, seeing the childrens’ facial reactions.  

Marlayna: OK! What makes your tits pop and your pussy start to scream and cream! In other words, what turns you on and I mean ON?
Mistress Xena:  Rubber, Rubber and MORE Rubber.  Being encased in a Rubber Catsuit. I love wearing Latex to a Night Club, To Model in, To wear in My sessions.

Marlayna: Some Mistresses tell Me that the yelps, whelps, and moans of pain they hear when they push and punish a slave is like music to their ears.  Is it like this for you?
Mistress Xena: Actually, yes.  It’s absolutely music to My ears when a slave screams, when he (or she) is whipped with My wicked single-tail.  

Marlayna: Do you get into piss play and rewarding or punishing your submissive subjects with a degrading golden shower? 
Mistress Xena:   Golden Shower scenes are either done either to humiliate a slave, or simply to reward the slave. Mostly, it’s a reward. At least twice a month, a slave requests My golden cocktail. 

Marlayna Please tell us a few of your favorite sex toys and bondage devices that you favor?
Mistress Xena:  Good question.  Strapping a slave down to the Bondage Bed is on the top of My list. The classic St.Andrew’s Cross; restraining the slave to the cross and having My way.
 
Marlayna: The “Blatant Name Drop” here! Please give us the names of Fetish Princesses, subbie Bondage sluts, Ropers, Photographers and scene ilumanaty that you have worked with and that you respect and admire.
Mistress Xena:  I don’t look up to many individuals.  I certainly look up to (and admire) Irene Boss (PA) and Sabrina Belladonna (CA).  As far as Rope Bondage, I admire Midori.  Photographers whom are amazing are Steve Diet Goedde, Christopher Mourthe, and Christine Kessler.

Marlayna: Your website www.mistressxena.com is a “MUST VISIT”! Please tell our readers what they will be treated to when they sign up.
Mistress Xena:  The Members Area consists of over 5,000 images.  The solo images go back, from 2001 to current.  I also have girl / girl images.  In addition, there are Webcam Photos, Session Photos, Fan Art, Convention Photos, Stage Performance Photos and Candids in the Members Area.  There are a variety of solo images, from Glamour to Pin-Up to Fashion to Fetish / Bondage.    

Marlayna: For our readers who wish to contact you, how may they do so? 
Mistress Xena:  They may simply contact Me at MistressXena_Chicago@yahoo.com  And if a reader is interested in booking a session, then they may contact Me.  

Marlayna: What’s new and sexciting in your life that has you tearing up air and some happy slaves’ ass like Mistress Cyan’s (www.domconla.com) favorite singletail?
Mistress Xena:  Buying more Latex / Rubber attire is always exciting.  It’s expensive to support My own Fetish.  I’m also in the process of making MORE movies, Fetish / BDSM oriented.  Making movies is somewhat challenging, but fun at the same time.  When a movie is up for sale, I usually announce it on My website.  So, stay tuned!  More photo shoots with different Photographers are coming up in the near future.  Some travel plans will be taking place in the near future. When I travel, I don’t want My traveling to ONLY focus on work. I love mixing pleasure, too.  Stay tuned, to see if I’ll be traveling to YOUR location!

Marlayna  Let’s wrap it up with you telling us how you would describe yourself. And the happiness and joy you find from being a Woman who is in control of Her life and sexuality and how you also enjoy taking control of people physically, mentally and sexually with their consent!
Mistress Xena:  Words that BEST describes Me:  Dominant, Sadistic, Seductive, Perverted, Kinky, Playful, Erotic, Wicked, Charming, and Fun.  I am very happy with life. Pro-Domination, Modeling, Stage Performances, Web-Designing.  I am a hard working Woman.  I’m happy for whom I am, and I will NOT change for anyone. My Fetishes are Latex / Rubber and Boots.  I love being cinched in a tight corset.  I’m a Fetishist.  I’m satisfied with My perverted and kinky tendencies.


 

Interview From Dominant Mystique Magazine (NYC)
Year: 2006

CHICAGO’S OWN MISTRESS XENA INTERVIEW…….

1) First off can you introduce yourself to the world?
Xena: Yes. You may call Me Xena, Mistress Xena, or Goddess Xena. I was born and raised in Chicago, IL.  I’m in My 20s, 1/2 Irish and 1/2 Middle Eastern.  Let’s see…… Words that best describe Me: Dominant, Sadist, Fetishist, Rubberist, Wicked, Seductive, Erotic, Perverted, Kinky and Witty.

2) How did you get into the world of BDSM? At what age did you get a feel for it?
Xena: I became experimental, starting at age 15. I was a Voyeur and an Exhibitionist (and still am). I was quite curious and already lived a boring life. Then, I began attending local Dungeons at age 18, thanks to the Married Dominant couple for inviting Me to join them. This couple had met Me at a Fetish Night in Chicago and realized that I was highly interested in becoming more involved in the scene. The couple had trained Me and the rest was history.

3) IT looks a bit painful so what makes people want to go through that?
Xena: Interesting question. What makes people do what they do? What makes people want (or crave) pain? Some individuals enjoy receiving a good whipping or a heavy-duty wooden paddle to their bare ass because in their childhood, they might have been beaten with these objects. Or because they want to let go. And they want to be free. Even because they deserve the punishment for doing something bad in their lives, which is why most men turn to Mistresses to give them Pain and transform them into Pain-Sluts. There are several answers to this question. I honestly HATE receiving pain and couldn’t pass for a masochist. It’s not for Me. I get off on inflicting pain to those who deserve the punishment.

4) Some say what you do is obscene and degrading so what is your reply to these people?
Xena: Be Experimental. Discover your Kinky and Naughty side. Get Freaky. Don’t be scared of Perverts. Have fun in life (ya know, life is short).  You know what I truly despise? When Individuals categorize Us as being either ‘Escorts’ or ‘Prostitutes’. And why is a Dominatrix different? Because a Dominatrix doesn’t have sex with the people she plays with.

5) What sort of limits do you set yourself?
  Xena: I do NOT offer: Prostitution, Exotic Dancing, Exchanging in Bodily Fluids or Nudity (on My part) is certainly off-limits. As far as activities, I do NOT engage in Needle Play, Play Piercing, Roman Showers or Red Showers. 

6) Is there anything you haven’t tried but would like to do?
Xena:  I’ve never crucified a slave, but thought about doing so.

7) How do you feel about certain feminists who think you’re letting down other women because of the occupation you have chosen?
Xena: Personally, I haven’t received any complaints from Negative Feminists about My line of work.  Other Women in the Chicago Land area are inspired and intrigued in what I do. I’ve trained some Women, because those Women wanted to be Dominatrices, as well.

8) So sell yourselves to our readers – Why should they visit your site?
Xena: My Members Area includes 5,000+ Images (going all the way back, from 2001). My Members Area ALSO includes Solo Images with just Myself, Girl / Girl Action Photos, Mistress / slave Photos, Guest Models, Webcam Photos, Party Photos at Different Conventions, Photos Taken During My Performances, Photos of Fan Art, and Candid Shots. Different kinds of images are featured in the Members Area. Goth, Bondage, Fashion, Fetish, Rubber, Lingerie, Pin-Up, Cheesecake, Portraits, Fine-Art and of course, Nudity. Note: In the near future, I plan on adding mini video clips to the Members area. You must be 18+ to Join. More information on Joining My Members Area is listed on My website: http://www.mistressxena.com

 

 

INTERVIEW FOR UR CHICAGO MAGAZINE – FEBRUARY 2006

UR: When did you start modeling / work as a dominatrix?
X: Ever since I was a young girl, I wanted to become a Model. I looked up to Women, such as Bettie Page, Marilyn Monroe and My own Grandmother. My Grandmother was a Fashion Designer for some of the top Models in the Country (back in the 1980s). In My childhood, I wanted to be like the Models, which she worked with. But to answer your question, I began to REALLY Model in 2001.  Now on the topic of BDSM. When I was 15 years old, I began practicing BDSM with another Female on the Block.  We were both kinky and experimental girls.  When I was 18, I was introduced to the Chicago scene by a Married D/s couple.  They had trained Me properly, since I was extremely intrigued by the Lifestyle.  

UR: What have been some of your favorite modeling gigs?
X- One of My favorite Modeling gigs took place last year, in Minneapolis Minnesota.  I worked with Lew of Vividere on several shoots, in one weekend.  I had 6 different looks in one weekend, nonetheless.

UR: Have you had any strange requests as a model or a (Dominatrix) but lets keep it R Rated? Could we hear about it?
X- As a Model, I’ve never had a strange request to do something, from a Photographer.  But As a  Dominatrix, I’ve had SEVERAL strange requests. I had an inquiry, whom was interested in Pie-Throwing.  I assumed that he wanted Me to throw Pies in his face.  But it was vice-versa.  I refused to see him.  Another strange request was when another inquiry had a Clown Fetish, and wanted a Mistress and himself to dress up as clowns.  I’m a fan of clowns, but I’m not about to get all clowned-up for him.  Last but not least, I had an inquiry from New York.  He contacted Me because he knows that I’m a fan of Vampyres.  What his specific interest was is to get stabbed in the stomach by a Mistress and to drink his own blood. I don’t offer Blood Sports in My sessions.  In addition, I refuse to give permanent marks to My slaves.  

UR: From all the shoots you have done, any memorable experiences or not so memorable?
X- Any memorable experiences Memorable Modeling gig was in Munich, Germany.  It was 2 Mistresses, a slave and Myself creating wonderful YET explicit images.

UR: How about in music, any memorable or not?
X- Music is My life!  Going to concerts can be such a thrill.  I have several memorable concerts which I’ve attended.  1) A Front 242 Show at the Congress Theatre in 2000.  Front 242 is a mixture of Electro and Industrial, but they’re phenomenal.  The members of the band (at the time) were all in their 40s, if I could recall.  But onstage, they had an incredible amount of energy (They simply didn’t stop jumping up and down).  The crowd was a mixture of Goths and Ravers.  It was bizarre.  Another memorable show was the Siouxsie And The Banshees show at the Vic, back in 2002.  She’s one of My all-time favorite Female Vocalist, but being at the concert was an emotional experience on

UR: Are you a rocker? Do you or have you played any instrument?

X- I was in a band for over a year.  I played Bass for the band.  Wired Remorse is the name of the band.  

UR: Rockers still this day have groupies, how about you?
X- It would be trippy, if I did have groupies.  I have a fan club, though. Does that count?  Here’s the link to My Yahoo! Fan Club: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/eroticmistressxena

UR: If I plugged into your iPOd, or turned your stereo on, what music would I hear? Is it the same artist
mentioned before or someone else?

X- I listen to all sorts of genres of Music.  New Wave, Rock, Punk, Electro, Industrial, etc.  I have a 5 disc CD player and the CDs which are in there now are by ‘The Beatles’, ‘David Bowie’, ‘Led Zeppelin’, ‘Bauhaus’, and ‘Sex Pistols’.

UR: Sexy clothes is what makes guys always give a double take, what is hot today in daily fashion wear, club wear and/or your favorite lingerie?  Maybe I rather hear what is in for Dungeon Wear? Latex, rubber, leather?
X – I’m a fan of Victoria’s Secret and I always appreciate people sending Me gift certificates from the store.  But My heart is truly into Latex and Rubber.  Yes, I own lots of Leather, PVC Clothing, Satin Corsets, etc. I wear them for Photo Shoots, My Sessions and to go Clubbing in. But I’m really devoted into wearing (and having fun in) Latex and Rubber.  Why is that?  It’s all about the look, the feel, the taste and the scent that really turns Me on.  Latex and Rubber can be quite expensive and hard to take care of, but it’s well worth it.  If you tried on Latex and Rubber, you’ll understand what I’m talking about.

UR: I know you are pretty top heavy and I am sure you get plenty of looks, especially guys drooling, any problems in busting out?  Have you ever flashed, what reaction do you get? 
X – Have I ever flashed somebody?  Umm, yeah.  Flashing and Mooning people is fun (although I haven’t done that since My teen years). God, I get some clients begging Me to flash them in a session, which I don’t. They wish! 

UR: What is your outlook on life, your future, do you ever think about it or go for the moment?
X -Yes, I think about the future.  What My intentions are in the future: Traveling throughout the World, having 2 of My Personal slaves live with Me and to get a House.  I’ve thought about Moving to L.A., but that’s still  undecided.  All of My family and My close friends live in Chicago. It would be heart-breaking, if I were to move to L.A. Permanently.

UR: How do you find time to balance a modeling life and normal life?
X – I do find time to spend with My Family, Friends, Partying and Relaxing @ home.  It’s difficult, though.  With all of the work I do, It can be quite stressful.  I honestly don’t know how I do it.  It’s called ‘kicking-yourself-in-the-ass’.  I’m a work-a-holic. What can I say?

UR: Xena the Warrior Princess, can you kick her ass?
X- Some people thought I got My stage-name from ‘Xena the Warrior Princess’.  I actually didn’t.  It was between ‘Tempest’ or ‘Xena’.  I chose ‘Xena’. The name suits Me.  
 
UR: What is a sexy car to drive?

X- Some sexy cars to drive (that I would LOVE to own) would either be a Lamborghini or a Ferrari.  I love fast cars. The cars would have to be either Black or Red.
 
UR: Ever date a musician, if so, is it all rock and roll?

X- I’ve dated a Musician, whom was the lead singer of our band.

UR: Have you been in the mosh pit? What was it like? Do you want to mention the band or venue?
X- God, I remember going to a Sepultura show @ the House of Blues when I was a Teenager.  Let’s just say I wound up moshing with Long-Haired (and BIG) Hispanic Men.  It was fucking nuts.  I recall being very sore the next day, having a few bruises.  The Men looked at Me as if I were crazy for moshing with them, and were afraid I would get hurt.  But hey, I’m game.  My ex-boyfriend didn’t have the balls to hop in the mosh with Me.   

UR: What totally turns you on? off?
X- Turns Me On: Latex and Rubber, Boots (especially Thigh-High Boots), High-Heels, Corsets, Full-Body Massages, BDSM, Spanking Others, Having My Feet Worshipped (massaged or sucked-on), and Sex (of course).  Turns Me Off: Liars, Terrible Grooming and Hygiene and Conceited / Stuck-Up individuals.

UR: Any advise to models or Doms out there trying to get into the business or exposure?

X- Have confidence in yourself.  Have a good self-esteem. 

 

 

INTERVIEW FOR KILTER MAGAZINE – FEBRUARY 2010

1. What are some risks commonly associated with D/s ?

-Physically or mentally abusive Dom/mes. For example: You are in a scene
and the scene is too much to handle. He/She is whipping you and not
respecting your limits. You have no choice, but to call out your
code-word. The person does not stop inflicting pain. Then that is a key
sign that something is wrong with the person. You will know in an
instant if the person is physically abusive.
-Emotionally unstable or manipulative subs or dom/mes seeking more from
the relationship than the other, as a human being, can give. The extra
factor is that D/s relationships are already predicated upon a delicate
shift of power, and so rely more than usual on participants being able
to handle that well. I have an example. A Man from the East Coast wanted
to become my live-in slave, and I barely knew this person. Personally, I
have never let a slave live with Me. My home is separate than the
Dungeon life. I could not give him what he had ‘desired’. I have
suggested to him that he should find a Domme in his area.
-“Top’s disease,” or the tendency for some Dom/mes to grow into a sense
of infallibility or omniscience. I call this, “Dominitis”, or
“Domme-Disease”. They take the lifestyle too seriously. They want
EVERYONE to bow down & worship them.
-Self-hating slaves. At the base of the self-hate patterns are a feeling
of deep unworthiness. So the pattern must find ways to both hide the
real feelings, and also play them out in reality in some way. If reality
doesn’t fit what self-hate believes is true, the pattern will cause the
slaves to do something that will sabotage themselves. Whether it’s
self-sabotage or getting others to participate in our downfall, the
self-hate patterns can be quite creative in finding ways to make reality
fit the “I am bad” picture.
-Unstable dom/mes or subs who can cause financial or personal hardship.
This can be through the act or threat of calling public attention to the
other’s private life and their relationship.


2. What are some myths about D/s?

It aggravates me when some people have these myths about the D/s lifestyle. Here they are:
-Dominants are cruel and cold hearted people. This is not true. Sure,
Dominants inflict pain. But Dominants do so, because the slave(s) crave
the feel of a whip, or the feel of a kick to the balls. We practice the
concept of safe, sane & consensual play amongst our scenes.
– submissives are attempting to re-live childhood abuse. There are Men
or Women who have been abused as children, but I do not think that is
the reason why they enjoy receiving pain to this day. There is no
evidence that people into D/s or BDSM have any greater history of
childhood abuse than the general populace, but as people who were abused
as children are more likely to seek professional help, these are the
ones that professionals see and write about.
-submissives are naturally “doormats.” Again, this is not a true
statement. Some of the slaves I’ve ever encountered are not doormats.
They are powerful human beings, and they happen to have a kink for
becoming painsluts/submissive towards a Dominatrix.


3. Is BDSM a Mental Illness?

In My personal life, an individual asked if I had a mental illness because I am in the BDSM lifestyle. And the same person had asked “Were you abused as a child, which is why you are currently a Dominatrix?” It was absolutely rude
& disrespectful for the person to outright say that in his email to
me. The answers are no & no. Most people who are interested in BDSM
do not have a mental disorder. Research has also found that those who
practice BDSM do not have a higher incidence of psychological issues
when compared to other populations. It does not mean that you have a
mental illness to be involved in BDSM activities. This is a common
misconception of BDSM. It is healthy to engage in some BDSM activities,
and it is much more common than most people think. It’s a great work
out, when I’m handling floggers. My muscles are working, and sometimes
I’m sweating when I swing the whip. Another work-out would have to be
wrestling with a helpless slave. Hmm. Maybe I should start a
‘BDSM-Aerobics” class. Hah. Ok. Back on the serious note. It is
considered to be a dark fetish, because of the stereotypes and stigmas
associated with it historically. It can be a very fulfilling and healthy
activity if practiced consensually.


4. What are some bizarre fetishes, in your opinion?

If one would want to engage in these specific fetishes with a
Professional Dominatrix(who would offer the fetishes) or with your
partner (who would be open minded to experience the fetishes), then do
some research.
Emetophilia (The act of throwing up, especially on a sexual partner, is
the biggest of turn-ons for emetophiles. Also called a Roman shower,
after the induced vomiting that was supposed to be a staple of those
debauched Roman feasts).
Eproctophilia (Fart fetish).
Urophilia (These fetishists love to pee in public, pee on somebody, or
get peed on. Also known as “watersports” and “golden showers”).
Klismaphilia (for those who enjoy getting and administering enemas).
Necrophilia (Having a sexual attraction to corpses).
Coprophilia (This one’s better known as scat. Not the rapid-fire singing
style, but the act of, well, deriving sexual gratification from feces).


5. Written to me from an anonymous user on a popular social website: “I
have been invited to a BDSM party. I don’t know if I should go.  What do
they do at the parties? Would I be safe? Would it be a traumatic
experience for myself?”

If someone would like to meet others in this lifestyle, I usually
encourage the person to attend local BDSM events or munches. It gives
them a good opportunity to speak with a person, face to face. If you are
comfortable with bringing a friend or your partner, feel free and do
so. If the event or group has a website, read the website. If there are
rules, follow the rules. Some rules are, “Respect the dungeon space, and
others at the party”, or “Bring your own toys, if you choose to play”.
Some websites will even include a dress code. There are many things
which can take place at a BDSM event. People will rather socialize, than
play. Or other individuals will play amongst themselves. You don’t need
to stand in the corner by yourself and observe all of the action. Open
up, relax, and get to know the people. It will not be a traumatic
experience. The environment is usually clean & safe. At one of our
dungeon parties recently, we had an incident where the person entered the dungeon for 5 minutes. We quickly made his decision and left. He admitted that the party was not for him. People are not forced to stay at the party. The dungeon might have been very intimidating for him. There can be other reasons why he chose to leave.